051 👻 Small Changes, huge progress

Welcome to my email newsletter ‘Never not [thinking about] running’ - a newsletter about running and mental health. If you haven’t subscribed yet and you’re not sure whether you really want to receive an e-mail from me, have a look at the archive. Today’s newsletter is about the progress I made over summer and my life in general.

So you have to start somewhere when you haven’t written anything here for so long, so today I’m going to talk about the two big topics that are usually discussed here. Namely, my mental health and running. And to make a long story short, both areas have developed very positively.

The first small change and the impact of a good vacation

Back in May, I wrote about my emetophobia, and honestly, that felt good. Whenever it makes sense, I try to be more open about it. Realizing that I’m actually doing quite well and rarely have problems with it has helped push the whole thing further into the background over the past few months.

Facing it head-on — being in situations that used to make me nervous — has helped a lot too. One of my biggest challenges used to be long car rides, like the 8–9-hour trip with the kids when we go on vacation. But it went great! We had another amazing holiday, and that gave me a boost in confidence. Tomorrow we are going for another vacation to the french-belgian border at the Northsea.

Another small change I didn’t realize was important

On top of that, being able to switch off from work and stress, and letting other problems from the past months fade into the background, helped me relax deeply. But that’s not all. Before the trip, I often had stomach and digestive issues because of stress — which not only made the emetophobia more noticeable but also showed me that my diet wasn’t doing me any favors.

So after the vacation, I changed my diet — mainly my breakfast and lunch. That has led to me having fewer digestive problems, but it’s also given me a solid boost of energy. And that brings us to the other topic: running.

Was that the key?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve hardly experienced any exhaustion, and that’s ultimately helped me train much better. Funny how sometimes the puzzle pieces almost seem to fall into place on their own. After the vacation, I managed to train consistently well for almost ten weeks without ever feeling like I was about to hit a wall. WTF?

Chasing a new 5K-PB

The result was almost inevitable. My big goal this year was to fully focus on the 5K distance and set a new personal best. By the end of September, I ran a 17:19 in training — with a bit of cheating (1k slightly downhill). I got nervous before a race later that month when I started out aiming for a new PB and after 2k I realized it just wasn’t my day.

I almost quit that race, but in the end, I finished the race anyway. Two weeks later, it finally clicked: a 17:28 on the same course where I’d already set PBs in 2022 and 2023. Crazy. And honestly, it doesn’t feel like that’s the limit yet.

What now?

I’m really curious to see what happens next. Cold season is starting. The kids already have colds again, but so far everything seems to be passing me by. Knock on wood. I’m trying to stay relaxed and just take things as they come. Maybe I’ll run a few more races this year and then see how 2026 begins.

As for my mental health, I’m just as curious. Facing my fears successfully has made everything feel lighter. Having more energy makes everything lighter. A calmer digestive system makes everything better. But the what if is still there — that thought hasn’t disappeared completely. I’m still a bit skeptical about what winter will bring — but also optimistic.

The end

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