041 🧠 The one-year anniversary

Back in the newsletter game - a long overdue update

Yes, ashes on my head. You haven't read anything from me here for a long time. The last post was on 30 July and my fingertips have been itching to massage the keyboard again for some time now. Time to write something again. Last week I had a look at the Substack administration and studied the subscriber list. There was often such good dialogue here, I benefited from these newsletters and I hope you did too. And so it always hurt a little when I realised that I hadn't written anything for so long.

So let's start again. Coincidentally, on the day of the first anniversary of this newsletter. My aim here was to talk about mental health, about running, maybe entertain a little and, above all, to get in touch with you out there. As I said, I hope that worked out. I like to doubt things a bit.

Where I left…

I left you here at the end of July when I wasn't really feeling well. I was stressed, my thigh was overloaded and somehow nothing was coming together properly. So I cut back on everything I could and that actually helped. No more extra tasks (which unfortunately included this newsletter), less running and overall trying to minimise the stress at home. It wasn't always easy, but it worked.

Especially when it comes to running, I had always thought that it was impossible for me, but the summer taught me that I can do it with less. Not without, but less. And so I'm trundling through the rest of the year without a real running goal, even though I would have liked to run a new 5K-PB. I'm sick again at the moment, but I don't mind so much. I'll be throwing myself into a training plan again soon, but the aim is to take it easy.

New hobbies and the perfect summer vacation

I bought a 3D printer a few weeks ago and it sounds funny, but that thing has also relaxed me. When I can't run, I design things and print them out. It's an uncomplicated, creative activity that also helps me get through an evening without running.

The summer was also worth its weight in gold for my mental health. I was really worried about the family holiday in August, but it was actually the best holiday I've ever had with my family. Two weeks camping on a farm in the Allgäu. Lots of families, lots of animals, I hardly saw the children during these two weeks, which was an incredible relief. My mobile phone was more or less switched off, no work emails, no Insta, no social media. That also did me an incredible amount of good.

Trying to take something out of that summer

Then, of course, came the extreme relapse, but I keep trying to ground myself, turn off my mobile phone more often and work less from home. Being more present at home, but also taking myself back more. In the past, I've often felt overly responsible there, which increases my own stress. And that's what I'm mainly working on at the moment.

Things are going ok in therapy, but I realise that I'm working on so many things at the same time that I keep jumping from topic to topic, which makes me feel like I'm not getting anywhere. But - it's just a feeling and if I look at it objectively, then something is already happening.

Not bad, even if the sun is not always shining

I'm generally more positive and more relaxed, even though I had a panic attack and a major meltdown a few weeks ago, which was also due to the fact that I was ill and struggling to cope with the stressful situation. With a bit of distance, I could see it that way, but at the time it felt like a big failure.

Where do we go from here? As I said, more calm, more presence and more confrontation with situations that actually stress me out are the plan. A bit of running, a bit of this, a bit of that.

How about you?

How was your summer? And what are your plans for the next few months? How are you doing? Feel free to update me.

The end

📸 If you want to see and read more of my work, find my LinkedIn-page here and my Instagram account here. If you are interested in my running, have a look at Strava.

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